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I'm in love with the chill in this morning's air...
Wondering who'll pull my hair...
September flirting with me...
Showing me what I thought I could not see...
Throw all doubt to the wind; yes I dare...
Bring the visions from behind my eyes out in front...
Time to claim and no longer deny...
For my insecurities my ancestors did not die...
Burn the fears...
It's either them...
Or ME…
I must say, up front, that the title of this post is both the truth and a lie. I will get to that later in the story.
Having spent a few years as a massage therapist and many years as a healing practitioner I met a lot of healers with financial struggles. Yet, they received more massages per month than the average person. From each other. See what I am getting at? Bartering can be a wonderful system when it is used properly. Often it is not. So many people trade their services and products without overcoming their financial struggles. We are a money based society and the harsh reality is that until that changes, the vast majority of us do need to generate income in the form of money. Is there room for bartering? Of course, as long as it does not conflict with meeting our financial obligations.
How can we know if a trade is productive? One simple question will answer that for you; "Would I pay the money for this service/item?" When I would meet someone who would get 4 to 6 massages a month (I'm not kidding!) through bartering I would ask if they would pay for that many sessions if they were not a practitioner themselves. The answer was always "no" couched in laughter. This is where bartering goes wrong. If someone offers to trade you their handmade patchwork quilt for a massage or a haircut it is worth doing IF you were already in the market for a new quilt. If you do not need that quilt then it is not a productive barter. As a practitioner or maker of things, if most of your output is going to trades and you have bills to pay you risk sending a mixed message to the Universe AND you are eating away at time that could be spent generating funds to go toward your bills. Balance is key.
I began this entry by saying the title was both the truth and a lie. I intended to write this post several months ago. What held me back was that I said YES to not one offer to trade, but THREE offers to trade! The irony! This is what they looked like:
A friend shared her bronze castings on FB. I fell in love with one of them and asked her if I could buy it and the price. She responded by telling me she had been eyeing a necklace on my website and asked if I would trade. Bingo!
I had been contemplating asking a friend on FB for prices on his drawings. After admiring his art for a long time I decided to treat myself. Before I could initiate the convo with him he messaged me asking about a necklace he liked on my website. He knew I loved his art and asked if I would be up for a trade. My answer was yes because I had already made the decision to spend the money on his art.
Another friend who makes things initiated a trade that I said yes to. I had not been planning on purchasing a wand and shawl but I said yes because I asked myself, "If I happened upon these items in a store, spontaneous or not, would I purchase them and am I in a position to purchase them?"
People being compensated properly for their work is a subject I am passionate about. Sometimes compensation comes in the form of money and other times it comes in the form of things. They key is balance, awareness, and equally important, being willing to say, "No. I do not want to trade" when that is the appropriate answer for you and the situation.
Word salad...
Word salad abounds everywhere...
Lingo...
Verbiage...
Catch phrases...
Pretty...
Fluffy...
Lots of words...
Tossed beautifully together...
Tossed salad...
Tossed word salad...
Thrown at others...
Focus external...
Get the other to look internal...
So you don't have to...
Look at your own internal...
What are you hiding...
Who are you hiding...
From?
This is an experience I have been wanting to share for awhile. The time is right as I need a reminder myself! It is one thing to intellectually know something and another thing to actually live and practice it. I knew how to manifest and knew that the book The Secret was only part of the story. Growing up I was very familiar with lack and financial challenges. They followed me into adulthood although I had never been unable to pay my rent. It was around the summer of 2010. My husband was doing his art thing and I was doing my energy work/massage/amulets/potion thing. Income was tight and money in the bank was dwindling. Upon doing the math that month I discovered that we were going to be $1000 short on meeting our monthly expenses. This terrified me! Brian took in the info without exhibiting a reaction. Our landlord was awesome and worst case scenario, we could ask for an extra week or two on our rent. Fear engulfed me, with my permission of course! A few days before it was time to write out the rent check I went outside to the mailbox. A familiar envelope caught my eye. It was for Brian from SAG and I knew it contained a check. It had been a long while since he had an animatronics job that included a SAG spot. These days his residual checks were less than $90. Nonetheless I was happy to see it. I ripped open the envelope (i'm tearing up as I write this...I always tear up whenever I tell this story.) to discover a check for ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! My brain was filled with disbelief and I felt the vibration of my body completely, undeniably, shift. Tears in my eyes and gratitude throughout my being to my very core, I ran to the garage where Brian was doing his art thing. He could see something was up and asked. Unable to speak I handed him his check. He looked at it, said, "cool" as he handed it back to me. I said, "You realize that this is the exact amount we were going to be short? We can pay rent on time now!" His response? "I NEVER DOUBTED IT." He went on to say, "I knew it would work itself out." I learned so much that day; from the arrival of the check to the words that he spoke. From that day forward I approached manifesting a bit differently:
When I feel fear or concern regarding finances I return to that moment at the mailbox when I saw the $1000 check. I feel the same sensations in my being that I felt then; basically returning to and allowing in the vibration that I shifted to in that moment of realizing the Universe delivered what I asked for. This creates expansion, creating a path for whatever it is I need/want/desire to find its way to me.
I do my best to not fixate on how my desires will find their way to me. In the experience above, I was so focused on how many massage clients I would need, how many necklaces I could sell, and hoping Brian would sell one of his animatronic sculptures. The Universe listens. When we focus on things being delivered to us via path A or path B we limit the flow of abundance. Perhaps the Universe has a path C in mind like it did with the arrival of the unexpected check? Planning is good but I always leave room for the Universe to swoop in and show me a different way if that is what it has in mind.
When most people go into fear about money they stop spending. That's the smart thing to do, right? Well, when I find myself starting to have money fear I allow myself to purchase something I do not need. It can be a crystal, a dress, or simply buying coffee for myself AND a friend. This affirms that I KNOW I am in a good place and that what I want is on its way.
If you are new to this manifesting stuff or just can't seem to make it work for you try the following exercise:
· Ask yourself what it looks like. Hold the vision of what it looks like.
· Ask yourself what it feels like. Create and hold the sensation of feeling it.
· Ask yourself what it smells like. Smell the aroma of what it smells like.
· Ask yourself what it sounds like. Hear the sound resonate in your ears.
· Ask yourself what it tastes like. Taste the sensation.
Engaging those 5 senses will bring you into the vibration of having the thing you desire. Once we tune into the frequency of what we want we will have it. Unless, the Universe has something better in mind for us! (That is a whole other blog of its own!)
On Discounts and Happy Endings
Independent massage therapists and energy workers tend to have challenges with the business side of their profession, especially charging clients correctly. Very often they want to focus on helping people and don't want to get caught up in the money part. Yet, they've got rent to pay just like their clients! I have become a huge advocate of knowing your worth and charging appropriately. I learned through personal experience that inappropriately discounting yourself does not pay off. I discounted massage clients, Reiki classes, and workshops. I did it out of fear; fear of losing a client, fear of standing in my own power and claiming my self worth. I also inappropriately discounted my jewelry but that is actually a post of its own. What follows is a story of how I let a client take advantage of a discount I offered. It does not have a "happy ending."
The vibe at the local metaphysical boutique continued to decline after the "Mirroring" incident. Eventually I moved to a different location. In celebration of the move I created a $50 promotion for the first visit at the new space. I only had a few regulars and was quite thrilled when the very first client was completely new to me. She found me online. During her session she kept coaching me into doing deep tissue and myo-fascial work rather than the relaxing Swedish massage she scheduled. Wanting her to be happy I accommodated her a bit. That was mistake #1. At the end of the session she said she wanted to see me regularly but could not afford my regular rate of $75. She really told a good "woe is me and my finances" story! I told her that if she scheduled every 2 weeks I would honor the $50 rate. That was mistake #2. After a few sessions her husband called wanting an appointment. I was thrilled! We met at the office where he told me he wanted a 90 minute massage. I hesitantly explained that the $50 first appointment special only applied to 60 minute sessions and that my rate for 90 minutes was $125. He said that was fine. I was a bit confused. He had no problem paying $125 and his wife said she couldn't pay more than $50? MMMmmmmkay! So moving along, Mr. Husband ever so subtly made it clear he was looking for a little something extra during the massage. Being a massage therapist for less than a year and never encountering this before, I attributed it to a misunderstanding and did not address it. That was mistake #3. The session ended. Mr. Husband paid and to my surprise scheduled for the following week! The time came for his next appointment. This time Mr. Husband was much less subtle with his intentions. I did not end the session (mistake #4) although I did verbally tell him, "NO!" At the end of the session he paid and to my surprise (again!) he scheduled for the following week. I let him schedule to keep things smooth. I had no intention of keeping the appointment but it was Sunday morning and we were the only ones in the building. I did not want a hassle. In the meantime, Mrs. Wife had been scheduling her appointments with me, continuing to try to get deep tissue and myo-fascial work for $50 and singing the poverty blues. Long story short, I canceled Mr. Husband's appointment via text message telling him that he was looking for something that was not on my list of services offered. I ghosted on Mrs. Wife because privacy laws prevented me from telling her why I would no longer accept appointments for her husband. Fast forward about 6 months, I got a phone call from another massage therapist who also worked in the same office. When Mrs. Wife saw that her new therapist worked in the same office she told her how I disappeared. The other therapist happened to be one of my instructors when I was in massage school so she started to lecture me about not returning Mrs. Wife's calls. I explained the entire situation to her and she said she saw why I ghosted on Mrs. Wife. When I got to the part about Mrs. Wife claiming to not be able to pay full price when her husband had no problem paying full price the other massage therapist said that Mrs. Wife had been working her hard for a discount too!
A few years later I ran into the happy couple at the gym. Perhaps that will be a story for another time...
If you are an independent massage therapist or energy worker who would like help navigating the business side message me! I'd love to talk with you about how you can effectively offer promotions without compromising your business and self worth as well as smoothly navigate other sticky areas...
Mirror Mirror On The Wall…
The all powerful and ever present "they" are fond of saying that EVERYTHING and EVERYONE we encounter is a reflection of ourselves; mirrors. My experience, going back many years, has shown me otherwise. Sometimes a situation or person elicits a reaction from us shining a beacon on something within ourselves that could use some attention or work. And, sometimes, an observation of a situation or person is simply...an observation. How to tell the difference? If you are having an emotional reaction, versus a response, chances are that you are being shown something within yourself. If you are witnessing something and not reacting to it chances are you are simply making an observation. If you are unsure, do a quick grounding exercise and clarity will come your way.
Being aware of mirroring and the reflections shown to us can and should be a valuable tool. Unfortunately one person's tool can be another person's weapon. My first experience with this was about 8 years ago. I was doing energy work and massage therapy at a local metaphysical boutique. A life coach also worked out of the same space. She was just getting started and promoted herself as a relationship expert. Ironically, by her own admission, none of the relationships in her life were working; from her daughters and ex husband to her landlord and everyone in between. This brought a nervous and heavy energy into the space at times. After discussing it with others in the space I initiated a conversation with the owner. She said she saw the same things we did and was trying to figure out how to address it. A couple of weeks later the topic came up again between the owner and myself. This time there was a shift of some sort. Rather than agreeing that it needed to be addressed, as she did previously, she said that she used to judge the life coach because she was mirroring back characteristics that she did not like about herself. She then said that the life coach was showing me behavior in myself that I had not addressed. I sat there wondering what in 180 degree flip flop heck was happening. Through the haze of my confusion I managed to say, "No, I have never behaved that way or treated people like that in my life." Unaware of what had changed within the owner, one thing I knew for sure in that moment, was that mirroring was being used to deflect from the real issues and make me the bad guy. Being self aware I knew that I was correct when I said "no" to the idea of the life coach being a mirror to me. Being self aware also meant that I needed to take another look and see if there was a possibility that there was some truth to the owner's statement. Upon self reflection I arrived at the conclusion that The Universe was reflecting back to me a dynamic I needed to be aware of; a lesson learned.
I have since seen mirroring used to disarm, diminish the input, render a valid voice silent both within and outside of the spiritual community many times. When it is perpetrated by a person of leadership within the spiritual community it is most disconcerting as it is an abuse of power. Regardless the context, when it is aimed at me I face it head on, look the person in the eye, and call them on their actions. It's fun to watch them squirm!
From May 27, 2012
From May 27, 2012
Simply put, I DON’T DO VERBIAGE OR LINGO! Say what you mean and mean what you say. The two biggest areas where this “pet peaves” me (yes I just created a new verb~deal with it!) is the healing/spiritual/energy community and corporate-landia.
I am a HUGE believer, actually a huge KNOWER, of the reality of manifestation. One day I shall write about that. Being self professed Queen of Manifestation you will NEVER NEVER EVER hear me use the phrases “co-creator” or “deliberate creator.” They are just to smarmy and loaded with the essence of superiority. They also wreak of someone whose head has been filled with information from one too many self help seminars or workshops. Don’t get me wrong, workshops can be great. I am talking about the people who become “followers of” and don’t integrate the information into their being and actually incorporate it into meaningful action in their life. You know who I am talking about. I think we all know at least one person who walks around quoting this person and that person and yet their actions do not match up to their words. You know why? Because they are not THEIR OWN WORDS! They are words that were learned without the practical wisdom on how to bring those ideas into the core and apply them to everyday life. It is just LINGO and VERBIAGE. Nothing more and definitely something less.
The Over Eager Healer. We have seen them. We have been them. Some of us run from The Over Eager Healer and others cling (that’s a whole ‘nother post!) to The Over Eager Healer. Not sure if you have a case of The Over Eager Healer-itis? Consult the following list of symptom and suggested treatments:
Symptom: At every opportunity you introduce yourself by including every degree, license, and certification you’ve ever received.
Treatment: Ask yourself, “Does the person asking me for directions to the nearest Starbucks really need to know all this?” “Are my qualifications really relevant to this moment?”
Symptom: You learned a new healing modality in one weekend and announced Sunday night that you are now scheduling sessions for that modality. At full price.
Treatment: Get some practice under your belt. Take a little bit of time to use your new skills on a few different people. Get comfortable. Develop just the tiniest bit of expertise. Especially if the new modality involves fire.
Symptom: You’re that life coach/massage therapist/energy worker who talks to EVERYONE as if they are a potential client.
Treatment: Yes, we have all been trained that everyone is a potential client. However, finesse it. Develop better communication skills. Come down off that pedestal and talk with me as an equal. The moment you show me that you sent me that friend request on Facebook because you saw me as a potential client is the moment you lose a potential client.
Symptom: Without being asked, you tell people that you see negative energy in their aura, can massage away the stiffness in their back, teach them how to shift perspective and achieve the life of their dreams.
Treatment: Permission my dear. Permission. Thou shalt seek and obtain permission from a person prior to initiating a conversation about said person’s well being and potential treatment.
These are just a few symptoms of The Over Eager Healer. Most Over Eager Healers come from a place of innocence often combined with a lack of experience. If you fall into this group ease up, bring it down a notch, and breathe. You will be fine. Some Over Eager Healers come from a place of ego, can be calculating, and won’t see anything wrong with this list of behaviors. If you fall into this group please be aware that you are not doing your community any favors. It will catch up to you eventually.
The Morning Ramblings of Your Friendly Neighborhood AlcheMystic
Can we not talk about things in "levels?" Instead of different levels, how about "aspects?"
Pieces of the puzzle...parts of the whole...
A metaphysical shop that I love promotes their crystals as "next level." WTF is that? I feel the crystals cringing, 'cause, my sensitivity is next level! Right? Someone once told me that spiritually they were on a higher level than me. I replied, "How can you say that? You don't know anything about my spirituality." Instead of claiming "higher levels" why not explore "other aspects?" Why the need to believe that acquiring knowledge or delving deeper into self brings us higher? Why not see it as making us more whole...bringing us closer to truth? Food for thought. Digest or vomit as you see fit.
AKA How The Los Angeles Unified School District Taught Me I Was Inferior
It was around second grade. The teacher handed out a survey for the class to fill out. At the bottom it asked for our race. At the time I believed I was half white and half Mexican. I was really half Thai and half white but that is a story for another time. The form listed "Caucasian" as one choice and "Mexican" or "Hispanic" as another choice. I was both. What should I do? There was another choice, "Native American." I had never heard this term before but it seemed the perfect answer to my dilemma. My child's mind reasoned that being born in America made me American AND native to the land so I check "Native American." Upon reviewing the surveys Miss Teacher asked the class who checked off "Native American." Silence. She went on to say that there were no Native American's in the class so someone filled it out incorrectly. I had been groomed, since I was a fetus, to be a perfect student and never give wrong answers so I spoke up to defend my answer. Miss Teacher said, "Your last name is Sanchez. You are Mexican!" I defiantly replied, "I am half Mexican and Half white!" Miss Teacher explained, "The school gets more money for Mexicans so I am changing it to Mexican." My entire being, to my core, knew this was wrong and my child's mind did not know how or feel safe speaking up. I never could figure out why it cost more to educate me than it did to educate a fully white person. As wrong as I knew it to be, it was still the beginning of a long road of feeling less than.
