Online Dating: How To Stay Safe and Sane

Through the years I have listened to women share their frustrations about online dating. I once shared some of those frustrations. So, I developed a set of guidelines designed to minimize some of the uncomfortable situations that can arise.

I met my husband online 17 years ago. I count myself as an online dating success story. (No, I will not divulge which website. It is irrelevant and some of you couldn’t handle it. LOLOL!!) Granted, there were some unsuccessful stories prior to meeting Brian but fortunately they gave me funny stories that I continue to share here and there.

A friend recently encouraged me to make this video. In it I share the guidelines that kept me safe and allowed me to maintain a sense of humor. Enjoy!

Did Someone Curse Me Or Am I Avoiding Personal Responsibility?

I recently observed a few situations where someone shared that they had been cursed. They were able to correlate it to a particular group setting. Next thing you know, several people said they were experiencing the same thing. It reminded me of a store I once managed. Every time someone came to work with a cold, the rest of the team would start saying they felt sick. Most of those people would develop actual symptoms. I witnessed many self-fulfilling prophecies play out right before my eyes. From my perspective, this was the same dynamic playing out in the group of “cursed” people.

Sometimes an energetic attack is exactly that…an energetic attack. Other times it is just something mundane gone awry. Life can be funny that way. Don’t get me wrong, energetic attacks, curses, whatever you want to call them are real. They do happen; passively and aggressively. I’ll get to that in a moment.

One problem that I see with being so quick to attribute misfortune to a curse or energetic attack is that it shifts the focus and power to the external. It can be a form of victim mentality. “Everyone is out to get me.” It takes you out of your power. If you truly feel someone has cursed you, you may want to look at your life and first ask if the unfortunate occurrence could be the outcome of anything you did or did not do. Were you stopped by the police and ticketed for your expired registration tags because your girlfriend’s ex zapped you with a hex? Or was it because you did not pay your registration on time?  You get the idea.

Another problem is that if your belief in being cursed is strong and persistent enough you will create that reality and end up cursing yourself! For those of you rolling your eyes who don’t align with the “we create our reality” belief, bear with me. Even if you do not believe in manifesting, you will simply focus on the negative in your life. That is where your focus will be. You believe it so strongly that you may as well have manifested it.

On a personal note, I have been on the receiving end of a curse or two. I have also had moments where I was tempted to think someone put a whammy on me only to realize that the challenges facing me were due to circumstances of my own making. In the cases where the curses were real, I sought outside help.

In one situation a woman tried to curse me to my face. I did my own energetic exercise to ward her off in the moment. When she left the store (this happened at a former workplace) I contacted a friend that I knew could help remove any residual energy that I may have missed. In another situation where I felt I was on the receiving end of the wrong kind of energy I sought out the services of another person. He confirmed what I was feeling as well as the people responsible. He did his thing and I was a happy camper.

So…long story short, if things go out of whack in your life, don’t be so quick to assume someone is out to get you energetically. Do a personal inventory to determine if it is within your power to rectify the situation. Don’t use it as an excuse to bypass your own inner work. Human beings are powerful beings. Do not so easily give away your power. If you do know, or highly suspect, that you are in fact dealing with a maleficent situation seek out someone who can address the situation on your behalf. Make sure they have an excellent reputation and work from a place of integrity. I can refer you to a couple of people who are amazing with this line of work.

The Over Eager Healer Redux

In the past year I have accepted friend requests from many coaches and healers who proceed to not interact with me. Well, at least they didn’t slide into my DMs (Oh how I dislike that saying but it fits this context.) trying to sell me something.

Until the past couple of weeks.

I’ve had a couple of unfortunate DM situations and both showed me clearly that the sender’s only interest in me was as a potential client.

I’m reminded of something I wrote several years ago called “The Over Eager Healer.” This part specifically:

Symptom: You’re that life coach/massage therapist/energy worker who talks to EVERYONE as if they are a potential client.

Treatment: Yes, we have all been trained that everyone is a potential client. However, finesse it. Develop better communication skills. Come down off that pedestal and talk with me as an equal. The moment you show me that you sent me that friend request on Facebook because you saw me as a potential client is the moment you lose a potential client.

One of the situations I encountered this week involved a full-blown sales pitch within 3 minutes of accepting her friend request. Really? Three minutes was not nearly enough time for her to determine if I was her ideal client.

However, it was more than enough time for me to clearly see that she was not my ideal facilitator.

I’ve broadened the scope of friend requests that I accept and initiate in the spirit of expanding my circle and the ever popular networking word. If you are a healer or coach, I accepted your request because I saw you as a colleague and potential connection. I did not see you as $$$. Unfortunately, your intention was based on seeing me as a potential client. (This, of course, does not apply to those of you who interact with me!)

Again, I will repeat myself, “The moment you show me that you sent me that friend request on Facebook because you saw me as a potential client is the moment you lose a potential client.”

So, ladies, let me break it to you gently. YOU. ARE. DOING. IT. WRONG.

Not only are you doing yourself a disservice, you are also doing our industry a disservice. I’m going to do you a favor, though, and point you in the direction of a few people who not only do it right, they do it BEAUTIFULLY.

If you want examples of how to cultivate relationships that can convert to paying clients check out Britt Bolnick, Ali Sievewright, and Anna Bellissima. I have spent money with each of these women. None of these transactions stemmed from them “sliding into my DMs.” I have also declined offers from them and never once felt any weirdness (for lack of a better word) from them. They are class acts all the way around.

To summarize, if you are a healer or coach who has never taken the time to like or comment on any of my posts and your only interest in me is as a potential client, I see you. And it isn’t a cute look.

Self Reiki Ideas

The ability to give ourselves an energy healing treatment is one of my favorite benefits of learning Reiki. One of the biggest obstacles Reiki practitioners face when it comes to doing self Reiki is the lack of time so they go without. We don’t always have the ability to give ourselves a full 45-60 minute treatment. The good news is that we don’t have to! A few minutes of Reiki is better than zero minutes of Reiki!

“But Mimi, between my job, family, and other commitments I just can’t carve out ANY time for myself.”

Yes. I know. Let me share a few easy tricks that will allow you to enjoy the benefits of the healing energy that is flowing through you.

✨My absolute number one go to for self Reiki is before I fall asleep. It is practically effortless. I like to place one hand on my heart chakra and the other on my solar plexus or sacral chakra and let the Reiki flow. If you are level 2 you can invoke the symbols. If you are level one simply say, “Reiki on.” Not only will you receive a beautiful dose of healing energy, you may find the quality of your sleep is improved!

✨My second favorite way to do self Reiki is when I wake up. This is a great way to start your day. You can also incorporate intention setting if you so desire.

✨You can also enjoy self Reiki while you read, watch TV, or even while waiting in line! Just place a hand somewhere on your body and let Reiki flow. If you are in a situation where placing a hand on your body might be awkward no worries! Simply activate Reiki and envision it flowing into the top of your head and moving throughout your body.

I hope you find this helpful. Questions or other ideas to add to this list? Pop them in the comments!

Reiki and Mercury Retrograde

From 2000 to 2002 I worked for a woman who did not believe in anything spiritual or religious. At all. When Louise  interviewed me for the sales manager position of her brand new indie cosmetic brand (It was the very early aughts and everyone had one!) she told me that she had interviewed someone she really liked but did not hire.

Why did she not hire this candidate? She asked Louise about her astrological sign.

Louise went on to pontificate…at length…ad nauseum...that we live and then we die. Nothing more and nothing less.  She also said, “I can’t have that stuff around me.” My Capricorn sun said out loud, “Well, that is an inappropriate question during a job interview.” My Cancer rising and Pisces moon whispered in my ear, “Thank goodness you know this about her and you better keep quiet about your spiritual exploits!” I present well during job interviews so I was hired.

Every time Mercury went retrograde of course the computers and printers in the office would act up. I would DISCREETLY Reiki the equipment. The malfunctions would cease and the equipment would once again work. Fast forward a year or so. Mercury was retrograde and Louise’s printer stopped working. To my surprise and job security horror Louise said, “Mimi I know you do stuff to fix the printers. I don’t want to know what you do but do it now please.”  Ever the obedient employee I did what I was told and the printer became fully functional.

This job involved a significant amount of travel. Louise and I were in San Francisco to meet with the buyers of Sephora. Yes we traveled while Mercury was retrograde because life must be lived. When it was time to return home we arrived at SFO to learn that our return flight had been canceled. Every flight we were moved to was either canceled or over booked. After being bumped from 3 flights Louise looked at me and said, “Do whatever it is that you do. I am not spending the night in this airport!” So, I sent Reiki to the situation. We were not bumped from the next flight and we made it home that evening.

As Louise saw that I could use “that crazy stuff” to help ease certain situations she began to lighten up (See what I did there?) on the topic which was nice to see and experience.

These are just a couple of examples of how Reiki can be used in practical situations and how it can be used to “clear the air” as I like to say. Let me know in the comments if you would like to learn more about how Reiki can help you through sticky situations!

Mercury Retrograde Survival Guide

Yes, folks, it's that time again! The first rule of thumb is to drop the idea that Mercury Retrograde requires a survival guide. Flip it around from "how do I survive" to "how can I thrive" during this time.

When retrograde, Mercury offers us an opportunity to reflect. It's an opportunity to slow down, to review and revisit. But no exes or cutting bangs! Yes, communication can go awry and all things mechanical and technological can fizzle. However we can navigate these things successfully. Trust me!

My best advice for thriving during these three week periods looks likes this...

  • Thoroughly review any and all information. Twice. Maybe even three times.

  • Trust yourself.

  • Ask questions. Clarity is paramount!

  • Do not push yourself.

  • Expect your technology to get wonky on you. This way when it doesn't, you get a pleasant surprise. And when it does? At least you're not too befuddled.

  • Do grounding exercises daily. All day long even. Don't know how? I can teach you!

Some people say not to initiate any new endeavors. This is not always practical. We cannot put life on hold for three weeks three to four times a year! Essential oils and crystals are great tools that can assist us as we carry on with life. Some of my favorites...

Essential Oils

  • Cedarwood Atlas - brings us into our authentic personal power

  • Clary Sage - calming, provides clarity, alleviates anxiety

  • Frankincense - grounding, calming, protective, promotes a sense of connectedness

  • Lavender - relaxing, calming, balancing

Crystals

  • Black Tourmaline - grounding, protective, diminishes fear

  • Clear Quartz - high vibration, strengthening, clarity (it's the master healing stone and does EVERYTHING!)

  • Labradorite - protective, helps us understand the issues Mercury Retrograde can bring to the surface

  • Lapis Lazuli - communication

This current retrograde runs through February 3. Yes, there is a "shadow" period that extends beyond that date, but we'll save that for another post!

Lines blur

Reality folds into fantasy

Feelings created

Black bleeds into white

Emotions real

or

Experimental

Dark consumes light

Possibilities explored

Yet

Distance maintained

Fully immersed?

~Moi

From September 14, 2018